Stephen

Ramblings of a seriously bored person in Hainan, China

Beat the Beep

Mista "P"

My wife returned safely to the States the other day so I thought you might like to read (not all of the details mind you) about her airport experience in the States. That's right...the States..not China...the States.

Now I'm sure you've all read about how some female passengers have been "overly" scanned. Now they do scan you here in China but I don't believe their hand-held scanners are looking for dental fillings, bullets that surgery couldn't remove, shoe lace eyelets, etc. Well, apparently we are or else it's just an excuse to cop a feel. Now don't get me wrong, I agree with the scanning, but common sense and not setting that machine to detect a flea driving a HumVee, to me, just makes sense.

So at the airport (located on the west coast) she had the privilege of meeting up with one of Mel Fisher's ex-treasure hunters. Yep, he's looking for gold or so he thinks. Anyway, the machine beeps and he begins his quest of "I gotta find it". Oh yeah....he definitely sent a message to all of the other passengers watching and waiting to be scanned. The beep...beep...beep was coming from her bra snap so you can use your imagination from there. Not wanting to go through that again she figured out a way to "beat the beep".

It's a very simple way for all of you female passengers to "Beat the Beep" as well.

Put on a sports bra! No beep...no feellyyy!

Uuuummmm....maybe I should wear jogging pants instead of jeans!

 

posted by: stephenthegreat at 18:26 | link | comments |

Injected Meat

 Mista "P"

Meat! That's one thing I sure do miss...a great big T-bone steak! Anyway, when it comes to buying meat, the one thing I always hated paying for was all of that extra fat. Why can't they just cut most of that off before they put it out for sale? I don't want to buy fat. I don't want to buy something I'm not going to eat. Well, the dog we had appreciated it!

The other day,  I had a conversation with a friend of mine about buying meat at the market. This was very informative and I must say an ingenious way of making a few extra pennies or should I say mao.

Friend: Do you buy meat at the market?

Me: Sometimes, why?

Friend: Be careful!

Me: Why? (I'm thinking SARS, Bird Flu, and every thing else)

Friend: Some people will cheat you.

Me: Really! How? (must be a trick with the scales or its really not beef or pork but some kind of alien meat from some far way galaxy)

Friend: They inject water into the meat to make it heavier.

Me: WWAAAAAAHHHHTTTT!!!!!

Yep! I have talked to several people and they all agree that some do that.

Another friend: Yes, Geem (Jim), it is true.

Me: Well, how can you tell?

AF: Take a piece of the meat and slap it while it is between your hands.

Me: And.....

AF: If your hands are wet, it has water, This is wet meat.

Me: So at the market, you have wet and dry meat?

AF: Yes. you can ask them for meat with or without water.

Yep...they have two prices...wet meat - 6.5RMB a jin...7 RMB a jin for dry meat. This is beef. Apparently this is common knowledge and as far as I can tell, an accepted practice. So not only do I get to buy fat, which I hate, but I also get to buy "wet meat"!

I can't wait to get back to the States and go to Kroger or Food World and ask the meat department to give some of that beef so I can slap it!

posted by: stephenthegreat at 17:23 | link | comments |

Let's Married - Quick!

Mista "P"

Marriage! Exciting thought isn't it! Planning a life together, raising kids, growing old together....but wait....the Year of the Chicken is quickly approaching. What do we do? Simply get married before this lunar calendar year is over and the new one begins.

One local district here in Hainan had 55 couples get married in one day. The reason - the "Year of the Chicken" is also known as the "Widow's Year".  So they have to get married really quick because if they don't and do it after the this lunar calendar year, that beautiful wife could be a widow.

Can you imagine what the "soon-to-be-husband" is thinking...knowing that the "Widow's Year" is quickly approaching!

Hey baby....if YOU want ME...you have about three weeks left or you'll just have to wait a year. I ain't dying!!!!

Wonder what the soon-to-be-wife is thinking - I sure hope he forgets what next year is?!

posted by: stephenthegreat at 00:13 | link | comments |

Ramblings...

Well... life here in China can get monotonous at times. -_-

Last week the government decided to get all the foreigners together (again) for another one of their amazingly *cough* fun *cough* social gatherings. But to tell you the truth, they actually did good on this one. Usually all the government officials will ramble on and on and on when they have a speech, but they kept everything short, sweet and simple, and as the last person who had a speech put it, "I know you want to eat more than listen to us speak, so... let's eat!!" Man I love that guy.

After the food came again, the usual performances of Chinese traditional dancing, some singing... basically all the same stuff. I would write about that, but considering i wasn't listening or watching any of it, ( all the teenagers were in the back of the room hanging out, didn't feel the urge to watch their performances for some odd reason.) It also was record timing for a Chinese social gathering, it only lasted 2 and a half hours! It was the first Chinese party that started and finished exactly on time, bravo! There was one major letdown though, the food, was ice cold. My piece of pizza I had still had a piece of ice left on it that didn't get dethawed. How sad.

It feels kind of weird around our school now, for this school, which is usually swarming with it's 10000 students all over its campus, is completely empty of any form of life, except for a few occasional teachers roaming around. Everybody has gone home in the mainland to see their families for the Spring Festival holiday I guess. But that's ok, that means i have all 16 basketball courts on the campus to myself for a month! Mwahahahaha.

-Stephen

posted by: stephenthegreat at 15:38 | link | comments (2) |

Lesson on Passports

Mista "P"

Last week was a quite a learing experience when it comes to getting a visa for my wife to return to the Sates for a few weeks. For several months, we had known that her passport was due to expire. In fact, it expires in March. I just figured I could save a few ...several...dollars by waiting  and do it in the States instead of going to Guangzhou or Hong Kong to do it.

So, we purchased a round trip ticket and then a good friend of our's goes to the Public Security Bureau get the visa. Public Security Bureau say's "No way Jose!" The expiration date is inside the "you got problems" zone (6 months).  So now (when she gets back to the States) she will have to reapply for a visa and get our marriage certificate notorized by the Office of the Secretary of State then send that to the embassy in Texas. The marriage thing is to prove that she is my wife once she returns to Haikou City. Now if I wasn't such a good husband...I could.....naw! Won't do it!!!!!!

What a nightmare! I think I still saved some money but I in hind sight, I sure didn't save on the hassle!

Lesson - renew your passport  before it gets to the 6th month or you're going to have some problems if you're planning on returning.

The other interesting thing is that the gov't. appears to have changed its policy concerning foreign Resident Cards - whether you are a teacher or a student. Based on what I know from this enlightening experience, is that when you apply for a travel visa, they take your card away and replace it with a visa in your passport which is good for one year like the Resident Card. In some ways this is really convenient because now, we think at this point, that you will no longer have to buy a visa to travel. That stamp or paper pasted in your passport is your visa! So it appears you will save some money. Visa here are 450 RMB.

With the Olympics coming, this will definitely help out in traveling, especially if you do it a lot. I assume this will also apply to those who hold a Business visa.

posted by: stephenthegreat at 19:46 | link | comments (2) |

hey

Hey, this is Stephen.. just writing a quick note letting you know that i'm well.. halfway alive.

the past week or two i've been going to a chiropractor for my  back. A long Story what happened, but let's just stick to i twisted it extremely badly playing basketball last month, and i thasn't been doing too good every since. This chiropractor is getting a little brutal now, digging his elbow down into my back right where it hurts! I've had the great Chinese method of putting that glass bottle and suctioning your back up.. electricity treatment.. where they hook you up to two live wires and shoot electricity through your back.. it's been an interesting week.

Last night I went to a concert of a primary school band here in Haikou. The band was pretty decent, but what cost my attention was a little boy who was 10 years old that played the violin. This boy had just made it into the BeiJing School for Gifted Musicians, equal to our Juliart. The previous youngest person to ever make it into this school was 18 years old, this boy was 10. He was amazing,  I won't even try to write about how good he was. He was good.

Well,, i'll try to write more later. I must go back and rest. Bye!

 

posted by: stephenthegreat at 12:12 | link | comments (2) |

Test Time

Mista "P"

Well, it's over...my Oral English class that is. I gave my test this afternoon and to my surprise...out of the 34 students, 31 did a fantastic job. The other 3 students did their best but man do they need to practice.

No gifts were offered to pass them thank goodness because after all, they all passed.

The other thing that surprised me was just how well they could speak. In class only a handful of them would speak so I knew they would not have any problems. Actually, I had considered exempting them from taking the test but I was afraid that would show favoritism and not go over well with the other students.

The "silent ones" were the surprise. One on one they seem to do really well, after they relax and stop shaking. Kinda like me trying to speak Chinese - relax...it'll be fine.

Now if I can just figure out the secret to get more students talking in class and get pass the nervous syndrome, maybe I can do a little better job in teaching. It's been difficult for to get a good handle on their speaking abilities if they won't talk in class. Maybe I shouldn't focus so much on that and just try and teach and not worry about it, but man that's hard.

I really do desire to help the students speak English because for some, if not most, there is a lot of pressure from their parents to learn English. I certainly don't want to waste my nor their time.

It's fun but what a challenge!

posted by: stephenthegreat at 23:34 | link | comments |

Happy New Year and a Free Bus Ride!

Mista "P"

Happy New Year!!!!!!!

For half a day, some of the city's buses were free! I saved 2 RMB to go and pay the phone bill. Nice gesture of the city to do this for the people.

It has also turned cold here. I think it's down in the low 40's without the wind. I'm so happy to have an electric blanket and a heater!!! Yeah, I'm a bum!

Test time on Tuesday. Found out Thursday evening. Apparently the schedule I was given at the beginning of the semester didn't include Oral English. I thought I had another week to go. Oh well!! Should be fun!!!!!

I was told we're special and different. Bad thing is, the students weren't told what to talk about for their test so it's going to be interesting. Because of the New Year being on the weekend, we get Monday off, the day of my class. So I get to make up the class during part of the students rest time from 1:30 to 3:00 on Tuesday.

I will say that Mr. Q, the foreign affairs guy was a great help in working all of this out. This isn't anywhere near part of his job. I don't how he got this added to his job description. But I am thankful nonetheless.

posted by: stephenthegreat at 19:03 | link | comments |