Stephen

Ramblings of a seriously bored person in Hainan, China

Cotton Quilts

Mista "P"

I heard a very interesting story today about cotton quilts. I guess you could say this was a consumer awareness warning.

I was told to be very careful when it comes to buying cheap cotton quilts. You can find them being sold on the street for very cheap prices.

The beware if you buy reason:

The cotton used is used! That's right...used cotton. But what's the big deal about that. Isn't recycling a good if not great thing to do. After all, we're saving space in the landfills and on and on it goes right.

Well, not if the used cotton being used to make those nice comfy, warm quilts is coming from hospitals and garbage dumps.

That's going a little to far when it comes to save our earth and recycle!

posted by: stephenthegreat at 18:28 | link | comments |

Ripe Chicken and Buy Me a Present

Mista "P"

I'll start with the "Ripe Chicken" episode.

Today in English class, we talked about China's many holidays. The class really did a great job speaking English and telling me about their holidays.

Anyway, towards the end of class, one of the female students asked me if I give tests/exams. I said why of course, I do.
I explained how I give the test which seemd to ease everyone's mind.

However, I did tell them that if I think you have memorized something to say, I will ask questions. They didn't appear to understand the word "memorize" so I said, "熟鸡" shu(2)ji(1). Everybody started laughing. Why? I know I said it right; right...WRONG!

Wrong tone on the second word ji. I should have said, "熟记" or shu(2)ji(4).

The reason they were all laughing is because I said "ripe chicken" instead of saying "memorize".

In other words, if I think you have a "ripe chicken", I will ask questions! Yeah, who wouldn't ask about that!!!!

I suppose I need to do a better job in memorizing words myself. But it did give me a great opportunity to show them, literally, that you will make mistakes and that's how you learn. Just try!

After that little song and dance, that same student then asks me if they can buy me a present so they will all pass. I said no, that if you will at least try for two minutes to speak, you'll pass.

That was a first...buy a present to pass. I don't know if she was sincere or not or if this really goes on between teachers and students.

I sure hope not!!

posted by: stephenthegreat at 18:39 | link | comments (6) |

Sweet Tea

Mista "P"

Saturday, I got a call from one of my English students. Actually, he has been the only one in this class to ask for my phone number! Makes me wonder if the rest of the class dislikes me; oh well!

I was somewhat surprised because I have given it out in the past in other classses and no one had ever called. I thought it was one of those, "Look, I have a foreign teacher's phone number!" So I was surprised when he called.

Anyway, we arranged a time to meet at the school and have tea.

I was a little worried that I might have trouble understanding his english. His english is not very good but I do admire his willingness to invite me out for tea and give it a shot.

In class, he is really shy. His face lights up like a red light every time he tries to speak.

I was also worried that he wouldn't understand my chinese. I could see us sitting there for long periods of time not being able to communicate so I invited a chinese friend of mine, Brian to come along. I figured that would be ok because normally chinese never come alone. And I had intended to pay for the tea. In other words, they're the guests, not me.

We get to Coffee Time and the 小姐 brings the menu. I try and show off a little by reading the tea list. Yeah, if only I had understood it all.

I see a tea called 美容水果茶. I'm thinking, "What in the world is this?" It translates, "Cosmetic fruit tea" or something close to that. Brian tells me it's pretty good so I go ahead and order it.

In a few minutes she returns with a glass pot of hot water with several different kinds of fruit in it. It was good.

After we guzzled down a few glasses of this tea, I ask them why this name. Brian then tells me that women usually drink this tea because it's good for their skin. Now I understand the "cosmetic" part of the name.

I stll haven't figured why they call it tea because I didn't see any tea leaves. It was just hot water and fruit. Maybe it's "tea" because it's a hot drink, who knows.

Yep, the big bad foreign guest wanna be host stepped in it this time. I ordered a woman's drink. Oh well!

I tell them we'll have beautiful skin and that's good because the girls like soft skin too (my wife does anyway).

So was my skin soft like a babies behind after drinking three pots?

Not yet and it's Tuesday.

posted by: stephenthegreat at 19:57 | link | comments |

Mr. Too Friendly

Mista "P"

The other day I was headed home from a gruesome 4 hour shopping spree. Yep, 4 hours to buy peanut butter (one store), bread (another store)and cat litter (one more store).

You'd think after two years plus I would have this shopping thing down by now, but not so!

Anyway, I finally get on the bus headed for home. It was, as usual, way over-crowded (人山人海) so I had to stand up with both hands full. Not a big deal because the closer the bus gets to my house, the bus will thin out and I'll get a seat.

Not this time; at least for getting a seat. I'm standing there and I get the feeling there's somebody very, very close. Actually, too close even if it is crowded. I casually look over my shoulder and see this guy standing right up against me! I look over my other shoulder and no one else is standing up; only us.

Now I begin to wonder...why so close?

1. He wanted to smell a sweaty foreigner's body ordor.

2. He wanted to hump my leg.

3. He was lonley and just had to stand up close and personal even if I was a foreigner.

4. Or...he was getting into position to rip me off.

Uhhhmmm...yep..I think it was No.4 so I backed up and get behind him! Now maybe he thinks I want to rip him off because the very next stop he gets off!

Pick pockets are in every country so you gotta be careful. They will use a razor and cut your jacket pocket, use a long wire and try to get in your pocket or they'll just use old reliable - the hand and finger to get what they want. I've seen people walk up behind people wearing back packs and try and open them up!

You gotta be careful because if you aren't and snooze...you'll lose!

posted by: stephenthegreat at 22:40 | link | comments |

Say What?

Mista "P"

Student - Why don't you come to English corner?

Me - I do....every week for two hours.

Student - Really!? I never see you.

Me - Sure you do. Every Monday morning from 10 to 12.

Student - OH!

For several weeks now I have tried, almost in vain it seems, to turn this class into a "non-traditional" English class. That is...you speak...I listen or I ask and you answer.

A two hour English corner!

At times I just don't understand why they won't or refuse to take advantage of the "we don't have a foreigner to practice speaking English with".

You do - for two hours every week. But one thing is sure...I ain't givn up dawg!

posted by: stephenthegreat at 18:58 | link | comments |

What a week

Wow.. this week was hectic.

Sunday of this week we traveled down to the extremely rural city of LingShui. My dad has been travelling all around the island lately to visit some of the teachers in the countryside schools and have a few classes with the students, but this was the first time I have ever been with him. We get to the schools, and like usual, they feed us... I don't mean simple meals, I mean 12 course meals, 10 of them meats. Everything you can think of to eat they serve at these places, (I was dared to eat an earthworm this time, and i did.. tasted like chicken!) We then leave off to the classes. I would dare say almost every single student in these schools have never seen a non-Chinese face to face. If they have seen an American it was on TV. So when we arrive at these schools we are like major celebrities. After every class at least 300 students will make a huge circle and stare... this week was one of the first times I have ever been asked for my autograph... made me feel special. =)  I think this week I was asked at least 100 times if I had a girlfriend.. ha!

Another funny thing was of course they took us to all the fancy restaurants in town.. but one time they broke tradition and took us to this small country home business restaurant. The principal of the school we were at wasn't too happy about it, but I was so glad we were going somewhere besides fried silkworm houses. We had some of the best food of the week in that little home restaurant. It was great. I hope more people will take us to places like that.

Well, my mom has a speech tonight in front of hundreds of college students.. I guess I had better get ready and go listen. I'll try to write something sooner.

 

posted by: stephenthegreat at 17:57 | link | comments (1) |

Now I KNow I'm Loved

Mista "P"

Yep..now I know someone out there loves me..it's already Wednesday here and I've received two more Netsky attachments.

Don't these people know that yahoo scans all attachments and so does McAfee! I guess not!!!

So my total is now 8 attempts, not bad uh!

posted by: stephenthegreat at 11:26 | link | comments |

China Milk

Mista "P"

After living here for almost two and half years, I finally realized that the milk here is somewhat different than the states.

How? Two differences.

First - The milk here is not refrigerated. Yep...it's stocked on the shelves, not in coolers. Well, let me say that you can buy it both ways, in a cooler and on the shelf.

How they are able to do that, I'm not sure. It must be the way it's processed.

Second difference and one that I found out the hard way was...the milk here, at least with my experience so far, doesn't have that putrid smell when it's old like the states. Milk in the states definitely gives off a bad odor when it's gone sour.

The other night my stomach was giving me a little trouble so I got up in the middle of the night and took two or three big swigs of the milk.

Too late...the milk had already gone down...it was bad. Sour taste but no smell.

Then it was maalox time.

Then it was toilet time!

Lesson....if it's been in the frig opened for five or six days, you had better take a sip or else have a real good nose!

posted by: stephenthegreat at 20:00 | link | comments |

Netsky

Mista "P"

I'm beginning to think someone out there in cyber land doesn't like me! I think I'm on someone's "virus hitlist".

In the past two months, I've had the Netsky worm in my email six times!

What's up with that?!!

posted by: stephenthegreat at 18:39 | link | comments (2) |